Happy 2nd Birthday Braxten



...visiting the zoo for B's 2nd birthday...

You lay next to me, getting closer and closer the more sleepy you get. I kiss your head, breathe in the smell of your hair, and feel your heart beating. It takes me back to two years ago, the moment I first saw you and held you. That moment in time is like a movie in my head that I replay often. The feeling of relief washing over me as you took your first breath and I heard you newborn cry. The doctor laid you on my chest, where just like now, I kissed your head over and over again, feeling your heart beat. I kept saying over and over "hello, hello, I love you, I love you." That moment was cut short. When I think about the moment they took you away I get a lump in my throat and it gets just a little harder to breathe. That was... and is still is to this day the most scared I have ever been. But here you are. Laying next to me, a rare moment now that you are a crazy, busy, mischevious toddler. Its sad to realize that the older you get the less often you will let me kiss you and hold you. I can't believe my baby is gone. Don't get me wrong I love this little you, the little person you are becoming. But it has gone entirely too fast for my liking. It feels as though one minute I was lying in a hospital bed, trying to gag down part of a sandwich and looking at pictures of you with all sorts of ivs and tubes coming out of you. Now I am lying in the middle of the floor, on a Handy Manny pillow, surrounded by cars, stuffed animals, and bits of streamers left from your party. You are healthy and perfect. Today has been pretty wonderful. I thank God that I got to spend it with you, that you are here with me. Life is so short and unpredictable, I need to remember to cherish all of these moments. I love you Braxten, to the moon and back. You are incredible, you are a miracle. Thank you for being my little boy. I am so glad I get to be your mommy.
Happy 2nd Birthday my little love!! XOXO

Mom

We did have such a fun birthday.. and more birthday fun tomorrow! Thank you to everyone who called, text, facetimed etc. we love and appreciate you all!! Lots more pictures and updating soon... I hope!