36 Weeks

1 month until Baby is due!

Braxten and I had a long talk about how I am totally okay if he comes a couple weeks early :) But i'm pretty sure he doesn't really care  what I have to say about it... Even though I tell him there is so much more room out here and it will be so much more fun!

I really am trying to enjoy being pregnant, because I know once he is here he will grow up way too fast. I have never felt closer to anyone in my entire life (literally and figuratively :) He has gone through so much with me, he knows all my secrets, fears, hopes and dreams. I know maybe you are thinking babies can't really understand but I really think up in Heaven we were best friends, we knew this would happen, our spirits are linked in a special way forever. Right now he is kicking me in agreement...

I am excited to meet my best little buddy face to face, watch him grow up and see what life has in store for such an amazing person. But it makes me sad to think that someday, when he gets older he may dislike me, that sports and girls will become more important then me, that he may drive me insane when he gets to be a teenager (which yes, I probably deserve lol)  So my goal is to cherish every second with him, even now when some of those seconds are hurting my ribs and making me pee my pants haha I never ever ever want to take him for granted! Some nights I think about this decision, all my decisions leading up to this point really, and I cry. I don't know that anyone can ever really understand why I am choosing to single parent, but when it is just me and him, and he is squirming away and I am talking to him, I realize it doesn't matter who understands. It doesn't matter what people say or think, if they are supportive or not (although I do appreciate all the support :) because all that matter is that I KNOW.. I know that Braxten is meant to be a part of my family, that he was meant to be my baby. 

I am so grateful for Braxten, I wish I could express just how in love with him I am, how excited I am to be his mommy! I am even excited for the screaming baby, up all night, poopy diapers experiences!

28 more days :)