And It Begins...

6/17/2010

So seriously I am ready for this baby to be OUT!

Yesterday I was having some pretty serious signs of going into labor, at one point I thought my water was leaking so we headed to Labor & Delivery.

We stayed more then 12 hours and I am exhausted.. after my doctors appointment today we may be back.

Got lots of IV fluids because I was pretty dehydrated.

And antibiotics for a possible infection.

They don't think my water broke but my doctor said the monitors all say I am in early labor.. with contractions 1-2 minutes apart.

I am only dilated to a 2 and about 70% effaced.

He is at -2 station, so down there, but not super ready.

Either they need to stop this labor or speed it up... yes can you tell I am a bit ornery :)

6/17/2010 Later

Well to update for a second while I am feeling alright...
I saw my doctor again and he said yes, I am in early labor (really thanks you're so helpful :)
But I am going slowly!
He said Braxten is very low and he could feel his little head and him pushing and moving around.
Contractions are still regular.. about 3 minutes apart.
He gave me loratab and said when those stop helping my contractions to come back to the hospital and at that point we should have the baby anytime.
I just took my second one and mostly they help the back pain.
So who knows how long...
Could be a long night...
I have been crying all day it feels like.
I begged the doctor to stop my contractions, but he said I am too far along to do that :(
Seriously this is not the labor I expected.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers...

6/18/2010
Latent labor... I hate those words.
As of right now supposedly that is what my body is doing.
And who knows how long it will last.
My contractions are still 3-5 minutes apart.
The only reason they are hurting me so bad is because they are now in my back also.
I don't want to complain.. but maybe if I read this before I ever decide to have another baby, I will think twice!
Since Sunday night I have slept maybe four hours a night.. off and on.
I am so exhausted, and my body is worn out from all these contractions.
My stomach is sick almost always, I did get zofran for it but I just don't have an appetite.
So I am dehydrated, and they have given me IV fluids to help that a little bit.
I am still on antibiotics for an infection (which is what I think probably started all this :S)
My doctor gave me loratabs to help the pain (they last for maybe an hour if I am lucky). Today I went into the hospital and they gave me a shot of phentanil because I had a migraine too and was completely miserable.
All the shot did was make me loopy.
When they checked me last I was still not dilating.
I am almost completely effaced.
And the baby is still just hanging out, and this may be TMI but seriously it feels like he could just fall out!
I was glad to hear his heart beat on the monitor for a while today, because I have not felt him move as much as I normally do. I guess they said loratabs affect him too, poor baby is probably just as tired of all this as I am.

So basically we wait...
At 36 weeks I am still considered premature so they decided against helping me speed things up.
But I am too far along to stop the labor :S
If this continues over the weekend, next week I will be considered full term and they will feel safe putting me on pit to speed things up or breaking my water.
I have mixed feelings.
I would love to have him out sooner then later BUT if my labor stopped I wouldn't complain because the next five days could be VERY long.
All I do is cry and cry and take medicine and go on lots of walks to help my back feel  better.
I know everyone around me is hating me :( I hope they forgive me someday.

In my head all I can keep thinking is how much I love Braxten and if I loved him any less I would  probably have killed myself or someone else by now ha
I don't understand why my body is doing this, and I really don't like it one bit.
But I hope I will look back after he is born and realize every single ounce of pain, and every tear shed was so very very worth it.

Please pray for me and Braxten... Thanks for all your love and support!


6/18/2010 Later
This post is going to be complaining... or venting more like.
SO... still having contractions, everything is still the same, except I am more tired then ever!
How long can someone go without sleeping? I guess I am finding out...
Today I went to my doctors and of course I was basically already bawling when I go there.
And he didn't have anything new to say.
I am more effaced and Braxten is still very low but not quite at a 0 yet.
Anyways! As soon as he is done checking me and everything he says he wants to discuss something with me and my mom.
What it came down to is he said he doesn't think I am ready to have a baby (is anyone ever really ready?)
And he doesn't think I should keep my baby, that giving him up for adoption is what will be best for my baby...
Well needless to say I flew off the handle and let him have a piece of my mind.
Yes I did consider adoption, but that is not my answer.. and I have told him this before. But he keeps bringing it up.
I was so livid! How dare he tell me to give away my son! Especially as I am dying of pain and in labor! Not an appropriate time to bring it up!
I ran (well as much as a pregnant woman can run :) out of his office and left my mom and him sitting there.
I am pretty sure he knows I won't be going back to see him anymore.
Here is the thing...
I get it might not appear that I will be a great mom right now, because yes I am an emotional wreck, but I have been in labor since Monday night almost 96 hours! I am hurting and beyond tired... And that is all he sees. He doesn't know me or my situation, he hasn't been there all the nights I have sat up praying and crying and making my decision.
And for that I have to give him some slack BUT he was so tactless in the way he brought it up and when he brought it up.
So I now am going to the woman's center and seeing another OB over there.
Thankfully my insurance will let me change doctors, and the doctors over there had no problem picking up a new case at 37 weeks.
Here is my options now:
I have a prescription for some pills that could stop my contractions. Usually they don't give it to people after 34 weeks because it may not work as well or work at all.
So I can take them now and cross my fingers OR I can wait it out this weekend see if I dilate or my water breaks and have this baby. If not then start the pills.
I am leaning towards just trying to stop the contractions, because I will soon be out of pain meds, and since I fired my doctor well I can't exactly get more yet, unless I show up in the ER or L&D again (which I do NOT want to do).
Cross your fingers something works soon!

Anyways maybe none of this makes sense.
My head isn't working very well right now.
Seriously though thank you everybody for all your help and patience and love.
Every text or email or phone call I get from someone saying they hope things get better and encouraging me helps SO much.
Maybe I can't see the end of this anytime soon but I guess Heavenly Father always provides some type of relief. And right now it is all my wonderful friends and family.
I have an amazing family, I couldn't do this without them.
And last but not least.
Braxten,
I love you baby.
More then anything else in this whole wide world!
You are so amazing! I promise we will be okay and get through this :)
Can't wait to hold you and give you lots and lots of kisses.
Love, Mommy